Mom Guilt #aintgotnotimeforthat

One thing I'm learning as a mother of two is to feel less of the guilt that's plagued me in the past. For me, guilt was like taking a ravenous toddler to the park with no snacks. The nagging usually started right as I sat down on a shady bench to enjoy myself. When I was playing with the children, I wish I was cleaning the sky-high dishes in the sink. When I was finally getting to those dishes, I wish I was playing with the children. And while I'm feeling guilty, why are we still at home in the first place? It's a beautiful day out! You get the idea. 

But recently, the most exciting thing has happened. I discovered this place that feels like stretching out on grandma's well-worn, cozy couch (with the funny smell you sort of like). You know the kind? In this place, I feel calm and confident as a mother. I don't flinch or doubt myself. Guilt simply steps aside in order to satisfy these people I love fiercely, including myself. 

In this place, I can stop for fast food when time is short and energy is an illusion, and not sweat it knowing that on most days we eat healthfully. I can allow a few more episodes of Berenstain Bears if it means I get a quick nap - after all, my children will benefit from a rested mama. I now realize I cannot fix everything: toddlers will tantrum in stores and steal toys at play dates. They will have a mysterious cut on their toe that you have no idea where it came from. Babies will cry while you're trying to get dinner on the table, and sometimes a little crying has to happen between two children in order to eat anything. I no longer worry my kid will end up in therapy because I handled their witching hour mischief neither with a RIE or attachment parent style reaction, but more of the yelling variety. These things happen. I'm know I'm calm and understanding most of the time. 

The fact is we're all trying our best out there. All of us mamas. So if you're feeling those nagging guilt feelings, go find a cozy couch (no funny smell needed!) to stretch out on. You're doing just fine.