My Blessingway

Yesterday was the most magical day. I had a Blessingway (a Navajo term which has progressed outside the Navajo community into a celebration of pregnancy, birth, and motherhood). 

While I've always left baby showers happy and loved my own baby shower three years ago, I knew I wanted something a little different this time around. 

Blessingways have a different tone and focus from a traditional baby shower. While showers are about gifts, games and celebrating the upcoming baby, Blessingways have no commercial gift giving, unless it's something from the heart like the sweet handmade baby cap made from English wool and special buttons, knitted by my good friend Heather. Little Butterfly couldn't resist trying it on. I also received healing post-natal herbs and tinctures brought by my thoughtful friend, Kathryn. 

Blessingways go deeper, and celebrate the mother and her journey. There are no birth and parenting horror stories shared here, which have become all too common in playgroup circles and baby showers - eeks! Instead we are told that our bodies are amazing and powerful, and that we as mothers can handle anything. 

So what did we do at my Blessingway if there were no baby gifts or games?

-Guests were welcomed with a bowl of flowers and sage-scented water to wash their burdens away, and to feel calm and peaceful as they enter. 

-We introduced ourselves and shared our matrilineal descent, which celebrates the women in our past that have given birth within our family. I shared my mother Linda, my grandmothers Rose and Peggy, and my great grandmother Hazel. It was especially wonderful to hear the names of my friend's family members, who birthed and mothered all around the world in places like Poland, India, Amsterdam, Finland, Israel, and England. 

-We wrote down our fears and worries related to pregnancy, labor, and motherhood. Then we let go of them by ripping them up and tossing them away. 

-We each wrapped red yarn around our wrists, which united us together in a circle. Then each friend gave me something from nature that was symbolic to them (my friend Shany gave me a pinecone, which she chose because it's durable exterior can survive large falls and withstand harsh weather, but remains resilient, much like a love within a family). I placed everything on my dresser to look at and finger through during pregnancy, labor, and beyond - feeling the amazing vibes from mama friends who care. 

- My talented sister-in-law Rashmi drew henna designs, a traditional Indian custom, on each guest's hand. Each design was so unique and gorgeous!

-Guests also read song lyrics, poems, and positive birth stories to uplift and empower me as a mother. I cried my way through them, and have truly never felt more touched when I heard all of the kind words and well wishes.

Here are a few excerpts read to me. I'll treasure them all forever and ever:

"Gracious God, maker of this world, bless this our friend as she prepares for her journey. Be with her on every road, on every hill, meadow, and stream, under cloud, under stars, and through storm and sunshine." - shared by my friend Monica, who always has the most clever activities for our preschool co-op. 

"I birth my baby with waves, each one bringing my baby closer to shore." - shared by my friend Shany who has 2 giggly twin boys. 

"May you be blessed with quiet confidence that destiny will guide you and mind you. May the emerging spirit of your child imbibe encouragement and joy from the continuous music of your heart." -poem by John O'Donohue and contributed by my friend Kathryn, who recently gave birth to her 2nd gorgeous baby girl. 

"Thanks to life, which has given me so much. It gave me laughter and it gave me tears. With them I distinguish happiness from pain. The two elements that make up my song, and your song, as well, which is the same song. And everyone's song, which is my very song." - Translation of 'Gracias a la Vida' read by my friend Nienke, who just moved here from Amsterdam with her family and I'm grateful to have met at our United Universalist Fellowship. 

"Even without companions, she is a friend. Even without offspring, she is a mother." -read by my mama friend Emily, who has the kind of humor that makes you throw your head back and laugh. 

"I'm going out to fetch the little calf, that's standing by the mother. It's so young, it totters when she licks it with her tongue. I shan't be long - you come too." - Robert Frost, and contributed by Calla, who drove all the way to drop off her treasures even with a terrible cold!

"I could stay away just to hear your breathing. Watch you smile while you are sleeping, while you're far away and dreaming" - Goo Goo Dolls, read by my wise neighbor Sarah who thought this song might sound cheesy, but we all agreed it was perfect. 

"We have played alongside millions of lovers, shared in the same shy sweetness of meeting, the same distressful tears of farewell - old love but in shapes that renew and renew forever." - Rabindranath Tagore, beautifully read by my friend Heather, who I would also do anything for. 

I am so blessed to have such wise, funny, thoughtful, and kind friends. Thank you for honoring me! I'm feeling ready to approach birth with confidence, peace, and power.