"We're having a boy."
That's what I told my skeptical husband, only a few weeks after we found out about the pregnancy.
From the very first craving of the tangiest lemonade I could stir together (with Little Butterfly it was sweets all day, every day), along with the never-ending dizziness, my heart just knew even before the ultrasound confirmed it.
Now that I look obviously pregnant, just about everywhere I go I'm asked with enthusiasm, "are you having a boy or a girl?"
"A boy." I'll smile and say, knowing what's coming next.
"You must be so thrilled to now have a boy and a girl! Now you're family is complete." It's an innocent and well-meaning response, and I do appreciate them wishing me well. In the moment, I usually agree with them that it will be nice to "experience both," or something like that.
Yet.
I can't help but feel like I'm being congratulated for something I had no control over. And it's odd to feel a sense of relief to give the answer that's wanted, even when it was never a choice. I often wonder how families having their third girl feel? Or families who want only one child, or desire no children at all. Are their families not complete? Are they unbalanced? Is there deep disappointment? I just don't think so.
Perhaps every family has their own definition of "complete." With more women keeping their maiden names after marriage, and children feeling free(er) to break loose from society's gender roles - for me it's never felt like a necessity to have "one of each" to make my family feel complete.
But what I really know for sure is that I'm eager to welcome a healthy child in the Spring.
With open arms and an open heart.
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