On Broken Crayons And Empowerment

This last month without fail, I've found pieces of half-chewed crackers, broken crayons, or small handfuls of sand containing crushed bits of leaves tucked away in toddler-sized back pockets. You can imagine my enthusiasm finding it just before it's thrown into the laundry with my clothes as well. Then I dump it all in the trash, wondering if she put it there carelessly, or was it a convenient spot to hide it until she needed it?

Then another toddler right of passage: Little Butterfly was hit in the head with a ball by another toddler. Twice. At first she looked puzzled. Then she cried, oh how she cried!

"That looked like it hurt! You look really upset. You were surprised that he threw the ball at you. And then he did it again. Are you okay?" I said, trying to comfort her.

"Baaall! Ouch!" The boy was whisked away by his apologetic mom. I knew he probably did it innocently to see her reaction. Or maybe he was tired.

Every day for the week, Little Butterfly would remember this incident. If we walked by a tennis court, "baaall, ouch!" Or if we saw a ball illustrated in a book, "baaall, ouch!"

It obviously wasn't resolved for her.

We decided to come up with the plan: Say, "stop" if she was ever worried about another child throwing a ball at her. We role played for a few minutes. She seemed to get it. Afterwards she looked more at ease, and I couldn't help but smile as she practiced holding her hand up like an officer with a badge, "dop!"

I wondered if she'd ever use the word in real life when she needed it.

The next evening, after a warm bath we sat as I combed her hair. Then she turned to me,

"Dop!" She said firmly, with a hint of a smile on her lips.

She didn't use the word carelessly. She looked empowered. Like the broken crayons and bits of cracker in her back pocket, she was waiting to use her new word (and fancy hand gesture) for the right moment when she needed it again.

Oh sweet girl, I hope your pockets are filled to the brim with words of courage as you navigate the world around you. Whether it's another boy with a ball on the playground, or simply being honest with me.

PS - we recently bought a food mill and made homemade applesauce. I was surprised by how easy and fun it was. I'm curious what your family makes with a food mill? I'm looking for new recipes.

Xoxo - Jesse