Grey clouds covered the sun, and a cold steady breeze whipped my hair into a frenzy as I walked the sandy steps down to the beach. We're visiting my family in Southern California, and I felt a giddiness flutter in my heart when I heard my parents were taking both kids to the park for a few hours. We've had a wonderful time all together - but walking by myself on the beach felt like just the thing.
I jogged down to where the water met the sand, and stopped short, my eyes squinting at the sea. Maybe it was a bit too cold to be on the beach today? Did I really want to get sandy and wet and walk back to town so uncomfortable? I reached into my pocket to check the time and noticed I had forgotten my cell phone at home. Suddenly a beach walk just sounded like a chore.
I entertained the idea of a warm coffee shop down the road. Now that sounded cozy! But then I looked out into the choppy waters, and noticed a diver about a quarter mile out, diving up and down in the water, as agile as a porpoise. My mom later told me that these divers are great swimmers, and are out there spearing fish for dinner.
Hell, if there are people brave enough to spear fish for dinner with some flippers and a snorkel, then I could walk the beach without needing to feel perfectly comfortable, I thought.
I walked the beach for a few miles, and let the waves crash on my feet. Then a wave unexpectedly splashed up to my knees. Before long - I couldn't' help myself - I was trudging a long, nearly waist deep, and literally giggling to myself as I splashed around, tripping over seaweed and watching seagulls soar over my head. I walked back into to town with Baba Butterfly and ate lunch outside, my cold toes and soggy leggings a reminder of feeling so happy and free (he snapped a photo of me above!).
I wondered about all the wonderful experiences in life we sometimes miss out on for the sake of comfort. I love a good Hygge moment and definitely opt for Converse over heels any day. But why do I need to seek comfort as much as I do, even if it means missing out on feeling happy and free?
Before I knew Magda Gerber's Educaring® approach, which is also called RIE® - I wanted comfort for my own children at all costs. I never considered what they were missing out on. In the early days with Sister Butterfly, I relied on a cushioned swing or button filled exersaucer to keep her comfortable and entertained. I never considering that these well-meaning devices actually restricted her movement and freedom to explore and play in a natural way.
I also found myself not wanting her to cry or experience hard things like toy struggles - because I thought it was better for her to be happy all day long. I was shhhing, breastfeeding all day and night, and even wearing her in a sling around the house with an aching back - all for the sake of keeping her perfectly content. I'd "fix" toy struggles before anyone got upset. I soon learned there are many reasons to calm down about babies crying (here are 7 reasons!), and thoughtful ways to allow young children to work toy struggles out themselves.
***I'd love to hear the ways you felt happy and free in a moment that was uncomfortable, if you don't mind sharing. I'm also curious, in what ways can we let go a little bit of feeling comfortable, and allow children the same exhilarating benefits (while taking care of their needs).
xoxo, Jesse
No comments:
Post a Comment